Who else has a birth certificate?

But rather than throw a snit, I’m going to…turn the tables.

 “Obama wasn’t born in America, his father owed allegiance to Britain, how can Obama be loyal to America? And what’s with the funny names?”

Well, we don't know who might run in 2012, but next year when the Republicans start running in primaries, Democrats are going to go to town on them, challenging their birthplaces, their names, their loyalties, their foreign ties.

Mitt Romney’s real name is Willard. A Mormon, Mitt spent two years in France and someone died in a mysterious car crash there. His family has a long history of illegal immigration: his great-grandfather escaped the U.S. to Mexico to avoid prosecution, and then violated Mexican law too. Then his family returned to the U.S. illegally, without papers. Three generations of Romneys lived in Mexico; his father was born there and entered the U.S. illegally as a child. If the wingnuts succeed in denying birthright citizenship to the children of immigrants, Romney could be deported.

Newt Gingrich is really Newt McPherson, and this son of the south is really from Pennsylvania; as a child he lived in France. Bobby Jindal is actually Piyush Jindal, conceived in India to Indian parents, worshipped in an Asian religion until his teens, went to college in England. He also attended an exorcism!

Mitch Daniels, grandparents came from Syria, an Arab Muslim country. Colin Powell, born to immigrants from Jamaica. Rudy Giuliani, grandparents born in Italy. Pawlenty, Polish and German immigrants. Rubio, Cuban immigrants. Pataki, Hungarian and Italian immigrants.

Jon Huntsman, a Mormon, spent years in Communist China and Taiwan, speaks Chinese, and adopted children in Asia; worked for Obama. Is he loyal to the U.S.? Fred Thompson, worked for a Japanese car company. Does the U.S. have all his loyalty? Trump, parents and grandparents born in Germany and Scotland, had two foreign wives. Santorum, Italian immigrants, a Knight of Malta. Bloomberg, Jew, huge supporter of Israel; Russian immigrants. Lieberman, orthodox Jew, huge supporter of Israel. Mark Sanford, caught with his pants down with a South American girlfriend. McCain, born in Central America, spent years in Communist Asia.

Sarah Palin is actually Sarah Heath; she supports secession and went to college in Moscow! Loyal to America? Barbour, supports white supremacists of dubious loyalty to the federal government. Rick Perry, supports secession.

It’s almost like the UN! The furrin countries, the furrin languages, the furrin entanglements, hopping into bed with furrin wimmin. Republican voters should be interested in all this stuff too.

Also Huckabee, born in Bill Clinton’s hometown! Clinton cooties! Bachmann, actually Michele Amble, was a Democrat who campaigned for Carter!

Incidentally, Gingrich and Trump tie with three wives each; I give the tie-breaker to Trump because he also has bankruptcy on his sheet.

Actually, we all know Republican voters won’t care about the lineage of any of these people. Because they’re white white white white, and their real problem with Obama is his skin tone. And because he’s uppity.

Everybody break out your birth certificates people, while I get my magnifiying glass.

I am not the only one raising this issue. Amazingly, the World Net Daily, the seat and font of rightwing conspiracy theories, has actually turned their fire on their own troops, publicly questioning whether Marc Rubio and Piyush Jindal are “natural-born citizens”!